Couples Counseling

Are you struggling in your relationship?

Do you find yourself resentful, angry, blaming, controlling or withdrawn in your relationship?

Do you understand and appreciate your partner?  Does he/she understand and appreciate you?

Have there been affairs?

Are you unhappy with your sex life?

When I work with a couple it is my role to firstly support the couple. I am conscientious about not taking sides.  I tend to be more directive when I am counseling a couple.  I do give homework as needed.

I am biased as all counselors are.  Here are some principles of mine. 

The most important skill for each partner is to be able to take care of themselves. 

Yes, I want you to be comfortable with feeling uncomfortable.  It is not your partner’s job to make you comfortable or happy.  That is your job and I want to help you be kinder and kinder to yourself.

Conversely it is not your job to make your partner happy or comfortable.  You are responsible for your own mental health.  There is a boundary that ends at the outside surface of your skin.  It can inhibit your partner’s growth to rescue them from their own uncomfortableness.  I want to be there for you as you learn to take better care of yourself and give freely to your partner.

Unconditional Love:

It is not helpful to expect unconditional love from your partner.  It is nice when that happens.  It is up to you to learn to provide unconditional love for yourself.  And from that place of inner happiness you can give to your partner.

Each partner gives 100% of what they have to the relationship.  Relationships are not 50-50%.

Every couple is an Odd Couple.

There are differences between partners.  Some couples have more extreme differences. We are all born with unique temperaments.  This is the hard drive, that which cannot be changed.  However, new resources can be learned.  Perhaps you are slow and your partner is fast, perhaps one is introverted and the other extroverted.  The key is to learn to appreciate your partner for who she/he is.

This is a snapshot of how I work with couples. To learn more you can phone me at 831 460-0241, or you can email me at andrew@uncomfortableisgood.com